How Do Narcissists Come of Age?

The third chapter of A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man is a rush of religious experience, plunging the reader into the fiery depths of hell as Stephen Dedalus pictures it. The strange thing is how he seems to feel a fear of hell, and a shame for disappointing God, rather than guilt for having treated the people around him coldly. There's clearly a kind of narcissism going on here where he thinks he is beyond his peers and is at a level with God.

His concept of conscience is unrelated to seeing and treating people as equals. The irony is shown when Stephen Dedalus sees the peasant girls on the street, and feels pity for himself that their souls were "dearer to God than his." This is supposed to be a turning point in which Stephen Dedalus seeks to give up his life of sin, but rather than despise his own actions, he is once again looking down his nose at others. In this moment, he commits two sins, pride and envy, and those are part of what compel him to repent. His idea of virtue is clearly warped and motivated by self interest.

I see that Stephen Dedalus has in many ways developed very little throughout the chapter. He started the chapter indifferent to his peers, seeing himself as superior and them as dull and indistinguishable. By the end of the chapter, he is once again seeing others as lesser to himself when he perceives the peasant girls as unworthy of being closer to God than him. Thus far in the novel, I have noticed Stephen Dedalus has been consistently distant from other people. It's as though everyone around him is vague and undefined, and he only sees himself clearly. In fact, his sense of self is so piercing that he often puts himself next to God. He describes sin as being consequential merely because it has "covered him from the sight of God," and when he repents, he immediately feels relieved of all guilt since he believes God has forgiven him. The feelings of those he may have hurt are irrelevant to him.

This narcissism is perturbing, and I wonder how this effects his coming-of-age. If coming of age has to do with developing a personal moral code, I'm not sure which direction Stephen Dedalus is heading. At the beginning of the book, he followed the words of others too closely, and obsessed over right and wrong.  By this point, Dedalus seems to have a complete disinterest for what others have to say.  Earlier on, he would eagerly refer to the words of the fellows or his father when seeking the right answer. Now, he allows the principles of Catholic theology to be his moral compass, even if he chooses not to obey them. In both cases, I see a very artificial distinction between right and wrong. This is largely a problem of a lack of empathy. He doesn't seem to be able to relate to the people around him enough to permit him much moral intuition, so he relies on some external form of judgement, be it his peers or God.

I think a major way that Stephen Dedalus deals with coming of age in a way that allows self-development is his tactic of taking things directly to God. His self-absorption prevents him from building meaningful relationships with the people around him which is a part of growing up that can largely shape someone's character. He, however, thrives on this intense connection to God. He sees God watching his every move as he sins, and he sees God as the sole worthy judge of his actions. I would expect him to be more concerned about what his father thinks of his actions, but he never even mentions a kind of shame at imagining his father see him like this when he is spending his nights in brothels. Also linked to Dedalus's isolation is the sheer lack of relationships he has with other boys his age. Most adolescents effect each other immensely as they experience similar changes simultaneously. Yet Stephen Dedalus doesn't spare his peers a second thought, and he comes of age very much on his own.

Perhaps I am being too harsh to describe Stephen Dedalus as egotistical and lacking in empathy. We do see some glimpse of awareness of others when he describes seeing the shame his eyes invoked in the prostitutes. But even then, he his senses are "stultified only by his desire," and when he repents, he expresses no regret for wounding these women, only remorse for losing God's good graces. I'm interested to see if Dedalus will ever grow in his ability to form relationships and empathize with others as he continues to come of age.